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Thursday, 13 December 2012

What in the Honey Boo Boo?

Posted on 21:20 by mark khandry


This year I've heard the name "Honey Boo Boo" tossed around a lot and, frankly, it's kind of getting annoying, especially since I don't know who the heck she is. So, today, after months and months of hearing this name repeated over and over by several celebrities, I finally decided to do some research on her and... holy freaking crap!

So first things first, let's watch some of the YouTube videos I watched that inspired this blogpost. This first one involves Jennifer Lawrence; apparently she crashed her car while filming The Hunger Games: Catching Fire in Georgia because she thought she saw Honey Boo Boo. Not going to lie, it's pretty dang hilarious. Take a look...


Then I heard that South Park made fun of her and once that happens you know this little girl has made a serious dent in pulp culture.


(I just find it hilarious that her mama calls South Park trashy.)

But does it stop there?!?!?!?!?
Nope.
Honey Boo Boo is on Barbara Walter's list of the Most Fascinating People of 2012. This list includes people like Hilary Clinton, Gabby Douglas, Ben Affleck, the band One Direction, Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James, Seth McFarlane, etc.
Crazy right?!?!?!

Then I saw this funny video on Jimmy Kimmel.


So, if you're like me you're probably wondering who the heck this Honey Boo Boo is and wonder how she rose to fame? (Or maybe not... hahaha!)
(Side Note: My IQ dropped several points writing this post.)

Here is some information I found out about her: 

Name: Alana Thompson

Some of her other nicknames include:
  1. Smoochie
  2. The Diva Beauty Queen
  3. Honey Boo Boo Child
Birthday: August 28, 2005 
Height: 4'3"
Location: McIntyre, Georgia

Father: Mike Thompson aka "Sugar Bear"
Mother: June Shannon aka "Mama"
Sisters: Each girl is a half sister to Alana and has a different father. 
  1. Lauryn Shannon aka "Pumpkin" (12 years old)
  2. Jessica Shannon aka "Chubbs" (Lucky her.) (15 years old) 
  3. Anna Shannon aka "Chickadee" (18 years old & mother to baby Kaitlyn)
Famous Sayings: 
  1. "A dollar makes me holler, Honey Boo Boo."
  2. "I'm gonna win the whole pageant!"
  3. "Those other girls must be crazy, if they think they're gonna beat me, honey boo-boo child!"
  4. "I rocked my Daisy Duke...I showed my belly to the judges...Look at this big thing...They don't know a good thing when they see it."
  5. "I'll stop passing gas when I'm dead."
  6. "You better redneckognize!"
  7. "My special juice is going to help me win...My Go-Go Juice is kicking in right now."
Honey Boo Boo found fame on TLC's controversial show Toddlers and Tiaras. On the show she competes in these toddler beauty pageants where her mother famously gives her "Go-Go Juice" which is a concoction of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. (She's only SEVEN!!!!) This juice keeps Alana energized and awake during the long hours of a pageant. When asked about the harmful amounts of caffeine she gives her daughter, June said: "There are far worse things... I could be giving her alcohol." How To Cook Like Honey Boo Boo

Sure, caffeine may be better than alcohol, but still... Red Bull and Mountain Dew... for a seven-year-old? Are you kidding me woman??? High amounts of caffeine can lead to insomnia, nervousness, restlessness, irritability, stomach upset, fast heartbeat, and/or muscle tremors and you obviously don't want to put a kid through that.

Just look at her now. The child looks high.

By the way, every time I think of beauty pageants I think of this little girl...
WAY cooler than Honey Boo Boo in my opinion. 


Now, Alana has her own show on TLC called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. There are lots of crazy things about this show, but the craziest one, I personally think, is that Alana's family gets paid $20, 000 per episode. That just blows my mind!
Family all together. 
With Makeup. 
June Shannon.
You must admit... this is terrifying!
A lot of people think that this is a bad idea. That a reality show for a little seven-year-old is going to really mess her up... even more. And I can't help but agree. This kid is already screwed up with a mom who makes her drink tons and tons of caffeine in order to preform better, puts her through these pedophilic-attracting beauty pageants, lets her get away with bad behavior, along with having her own reality show.  I'm scared to see what happens when she hits 18.

And why do people like this show? Because the family is just so darn crazy and redneck-ish? Apparently the show has attracted 2.2 million viewers, which again just blows my mind...

I try to think about what I was doing as a 7-year-old. I was in second grade, playing softball and ridding horses. I thank God my mother didn't put me through these horrid pageants!

Well, that's all I want to say on this subject.
Honestly, I feel kind of stupid after writing this post.

Blog to you later!
Love,
Manders 
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mark khandry
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